Tanya's Story

I'm an addict in recovery and my name is Tanya. I remember when I first started thinking about getting into recovery I had no idea what recovery was. How do I do it? Where do I go, and when I get there, what will recovery be like? Will I magically just be in recovery? I imagined that recovery was some kind of fantastic destination and I was simply going to arrive there one day.


I had no idea what my life would look like without the use of alcohol and drugs. I was full of fear, shame and anxiety. These feelings would overcome my whole being every time I looked in my children’s little faces. I didn’t know how I would be able to face the pain and hurt that I had caused my children and myself. I thought these feelings of powerlessness would continue to overwhelm me until the day I reached that great place I was heading called recovery.

After “hitting bottom” for the umpteenth time and acknowledging it was time to get help, I remembered a friend from the past who had gone through a residential drug and alcohol treatment program. Fortunately, I lived near a residential treatment facility here in Eugene. After gaining enough courage and getting a lot of pressure from my family, I called the facility and set up an intake appointment. Soon, I was admitted for a 28-day stay and was finally on that road to recovery.

What I have learned, and continue to learn, is that recovery is not a destination, but a journey itself. Rather than starting treatment and arriving at a destination called recovery, I have come to understand that treatment, and getting clean was actually the start of a new journey. A journey I have been on for eight years and that continues each day.

Today, I am the program manager at a facility for recovery support. I’d like to share some of the actions that I took when entering into recovery myself:

• Ask for help. You are not alone. There are agencies that specialize in addiction services and combined with support from Narcotics Anonymous groups, it will all lead you in the right direction without judgement.
• Become teachable. Remember, our way (using drugs and alcohol) wasn’t working. Be open minded.
• Join a recovery support group like NA. There are many options available.
• Communicate about your barriers to staying clean. Be open and honest with the fellowship of recovery friends you have surrounded yourself with. f your recovery program requests, 
• Get a sponsor you like and whose recovery you respect and can talk to. 
• Become willing to make changes. Changes like not spending time with people who use drugs or drink; like not going to bars will help avoid temptation, Choosing to do what is suggested over what you think you should do is giving recovery a chance by planning for the future and valuing recovery and yourself.

At these recovery groups we help each with substance abuse issues and help each other create a recovery lifestyle. We strive to support each other emotionally, especially as we repair relationships. We help each other move forward in the face of challenges by promoting positive change. Remember, you too can get clean; just don't give up before the miracle.

Little by little as you make changes, like sharing with your sponsor, attending meetings and reading recovery literature, the urge to use disappears and you find yourself living and enjoying life. When that happened to me I vowed to continue doing all I could to stay clean a day at a time and in doing so I gave myself a chance to live.  To experience life for the first time as I had never lived: clean of body, mind and spirit.